Today’s post is a guest post by Angela. You can look forward to seeing a post from her about once a month.
When I began my first full-time job I had a lot of trouble adjusting and getting to know people. There were a few people who did not like me for reasons I did not understand and they made this abundantly clear. I was an outsider and no matter how hard I tried to be helpful or kind I was met with hostility. It got to the point that I was pretty miserable at work. It wasn’t long before I gave up trying to be nice. I got through my day but did not make any effort to be kind. It’s not a time of my life I’m particularly proud of.
In retrospect, most of the reasons we disliked each other were rooted in misunderstandings and misinformation. Instead of taking the time to get to know one another we made both made snap judgments on things that later proved to be untrue. Eventually my job shifted and I was able to work more closely with people and build relationships. Things drastically improved and we all began to get along better.
There was one girl who I really struggled to get along with. Before things got better, she took a different job (one that I also applied and interviewed for). So we still had very negative opinions of one another.
After Zeke was born, I was not going to return to my full-time position but I wasn’t ready to fully leave the Y. I planned to work part-time in the nursery. When it was time to make this transition I realized my former co-worker (who I still disliked and was certain still hated me) was the supervisor of the nursery where I hoped to work. I honestly almost decided that it was time to just quit. I had no desire to work under someone like that. And she probably had similar feelings about hiring me. But somehow we both decided to be adults about it and hired me. We didn’t acknowledge our history but just tried to keep it professional. It was only a few days a week so I figured it wouldn’t really matter- and if it got weird I could always just quit.
Over the next few weeks we ended up spending a good amount of time together. We ended up talking a lot when things were slow and when we were cleaning up at the end of the day. Over time we went from awkward small talk to becoming friends. We both went through some difficult times and were able to support one another through it. One day we talked about how funny it was that we are friends. We both talked about our struggles and apologized for the way we treated each other in the past. Hearing each other’s perspective really solidified our friendship. She is now one of my dearest friends and a person I love fiercely. She is someone i know I can always count on for encouragement and level-headed, real opinions on things. Our kids love each other. The girl who was once my enemy is now like a sister to me and is a person I could not imagine life without.
It makes me think about how much we missed out on in the years we spent hating each other. I’m so glad we both gave each other a second chance. If even one of us had chosen to hold a grudge we would have missed out on a beautiful friendship.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
I think we all know we should do this but sometimes it can be hard to do it. We feel like people need to apologize to us first or that they don’t deserve to be forgiven. Best case scenario we just avoid them at all costs. The truth is not one of us really deserve to be forgiven- for anything. But God chose to love us anyways. And in the same way He call us to forgive. When we refuse to forgive it hold us back from the things God has for us. Unforgivness can tear apart families, friendships and even communities. It hampers us from ministering to each other. It can keep us from going somewhere or doing something God has called us to do because we don’t want to be around that person.
When we lay down our pride and chose to forgive and choose love instead, God can move in really big ways. God has given me a second (and third… fourth.. thousandth) chance on so many things in my life. There is never a point where he sees my relationship with him as a lost cause or irreparable. What better way to share His love than to do the same for the people who have hurt us? Let’s choose to love them anyways! Who knows- maybe your enemy will become your greatest ally.