This past weekend something happened that made me mad. I’m not going to go into the details, but it involved people not keeping their word and being shady. I was not happy at all. I was at the point of looking up emails and phone numbers and letting people know exactly how I felt. The events could have gone further south and thank God they didn’t. Through the process, Angela told me multiple times, “Just relax, this is in God’s hands now.” I repeatedly told her that I knew but I was still mad. I was trying to get over it, but it wasn’t working. I tried playing with my kids, but it didn’t take my mind off of things.
Since I was waiting on a phone call, Angela put the kids to bed. When they all went upstairs, I decided I would pray but I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to say to God. The prayer I was able to come up with was, “God I am mad. I know that your word tells me not to be angry but right now I am.” That was all I had. I didn’t know what else to say or do. It felt weird to sit there and tell God I knew I was in the wrong but didn’t know what to do from there.
As I was sitting there praying that prayer, it hit me. That is exactly what God wanted me to do. In that moment I needed God. I wasn’t going to fix everything on my own. I needed His peace. I needed His understanding and I wasn’t going to get those until I went to Him. Philippians 4:6-7 says,
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
There was nothing wrong with me praying to God and letting Him know I was mad. It was only when I went to Him that I would experience His peace.
In that moment I did find peace. Too many times, I try to get myself put back together before I go to God. How dumb is that? If I could put myself back together, He would have never sent Jesus. The truth is that I need God, and unless I turn to Him I will not get what I am searching for. Rather than try to put the pieces back together myself, I just need to turn to God and say, “I need you.” It’s in that moment that He can supply everything I need.
until next time…